Posts Tagged "Chocolate"


I know I’ve been ranting about chocolate lately, which is inevitable in light of the recent holiday. And I rant because I love it, even though I rarely eat any—you know, always on a diet. I’m so angry about constantly dieting that I could “chew nails and spit rust,” to quote my late mother (always one for the pithy cliché). Then you hear about the health benefits of chocolate. Unfortunately, this only...

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Sex. Chocolate. Asparagus Pee.

Sex. Chocolate. Asparagus Pee.


Posted By on Feb 13, 2014

Now you’re paying attention. I was wondering, just why is chocolate sexy? Why are women usually the only ones pictured eating chocolate in commercials? Why are women sent into almost orgasmic states when they consume it (in commercials, I mean, I don’t recall ever being sexually turned on by chocolate…well, never mind…). Sometimes you’ll see a man in chocolate commercials, but I’ll bet 90% of the...

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The exact identity of the specific St. Valentine associated with our modern holiday is a a bit hard to pin down since apparently there were a few different men with that name who were saints. Regarding this particular holiday, however, we can connect one man who was tortured and later executed for the crime of assisting Christians who wanted to marry. This was way back in Roman times, before Christianity became legal. It could be that...

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…at home, because Bob and I are farty old married folks who don’t like crowds very much (mostly Bob). Of course, when we were dating and newly wed, we used to go out for a fancy dinner. Bob usually felt obligated to buy flowers for me, or some sort of chocolate, or some sort of jewelry. Later on, we realized that I don’t really care that much for fresh flowers in my house since they only last a few days and they end...

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…or date him or live with him…that’s because chocolate will take care of you in so many ways…at least that’s what television commercials imply.  Some chocolate commercials border on soft porn, don’t you think?  I have abandoned all pretense as to healthy foods, and present you with a decadent mocha tart.  If you hate mocha, all you need to do is omit or decrease the coffee powder; everything else is...

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